The Procedures

Different states in Malaysia set different procedures for a man or woman to apply for “kebenaran bernikah” – some sort of a marriage licence for Muslims. Different forms, different supporting documents, different requirements for photos, copies of supporting documents and what-nots.

Of course, there are certain things that are required in every state – all applicants must have gone through the compulsory pre-marriage course and all must fill up some forms of some sort stating their intention to marry or their consent to a marriage. It gets a little bit more complicated when one of the parties involved is a newly-convert or from outside the country. Recently, a friend who is a newly-convert had to wait for a few days to be called to the Jabatan Agama office so that she could be married off by the kadhi (as wali hakim) on duty.

Both my fiancé and I had attended the compulsory pre-marriage course a few years ago. He got the necessary certificate when he was still a student in Egypt. I attended the course during my diploma days in INTAN simply because it was cheap (the fees was RM10 as opposed to RM80 if one were to attend it elsewhere). Both of our certificates are valid with no time limit.

In order for me to apply for the ‘kebenaran bernikah’, he had to complete the necessary procedures on his part first. He got all the necessary documents done in about a week’s time – including getting a letter from the principal of the school where he's teaching proclaiming he's still single and is currently teaching there. He even filled up some unnecessary blanks in the form. (He did not need to get my wali’s signature because that’s only a must if the form was filled up by a girl from Negeri Sembilan). An uncle remarked – "ah, that young man would look for any opportunity just to see you." Well, he did travelled by motorbike to Putrajaya all the way from Seremban just to pass the document to me when he could actually just send them over by post or courier. ;-)

Once he got the 'kebenaran bernikah' letter and posted all the necessary forms and supporting documents over to me, he kept asking me to get all the forms on my part to be processed accordingly as quickly as possible. I was too busy at work and kept dilly-dallying it for about a week until last Monday, when I took some time to fill up the necessary forms neatly in black ink pen and got all the supporting documents in order.

Tuesday morning, I found out from Mak that Ayah had set an appointment to meet up with the Timbalan Kadhi for Petaling district a few minutes after he left the house. I quickly made a call.

“Ayah, there’s no point to just meet up without the forms and necessary documents.”

“Where are the forms and necessary documents ?”

“I have them with me”

“WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME EARLIER?”
(Gulp… It was a matter of communications breakdown…. Really…)

I was planning to ask Ayah when exactly can we go and get all the necessary arrangement with the Pejabat Agama done and over with later that night. Ayah though, made the appointment with the Timbalan Kadhi without consulting me at all despite knowing that I was trying to get all the forms and necessary documents in order.

And it wasn’t that simple. Apart from the obligatory certificate of pre-marriage course, copies of my father’s, my two witnesses’ and my own identity cards, I also had to submit a copy of my father’s long lost surat nikah. Since I’m the eldest in the family, that means we also have to locate Ayah’s surat nikah with my biological mother to confirm that I’m my Ayah’s legitimate daughter. Since they had divorced over 20 years ago, both Ayah and my biological mother had lost their respective copy of surat nikah. So, Ayah had to obtain a certified true copy of that surat nikah from the respective office in Perlis.

And because the Penolong Pendaftar Nikah in our kariah (parish?) has recently retired, the forms had to be signed in front of an officer in Pejabat Agama Daerah. That means all of us – myself, Ayah and my two uncles who had agreed to be the witnesses – must go to sign the forms together at the Pejabat Agama.

So, that Tuesday morning, rather unexpectedly (I had to take an Emergency Leave), we all went to the Pejabat Agama Daerah Petaling in Shah Alam to get all the procedures completed, done and over with. Due to some headaches, an uncle had to be substituted by another to act as our witness. Alhamdulillah, we got it all done before lunch hour – signing the forms in front of the respective officer (who knows Ayah personally), got the Surat Kebenaran Bernikah after twenty minutes wait and straight away went to meet up with the Timbalan Kadhi (who knows my uncle personally) to add my wedding to his schedule.

Alhamdulillah - at least one matter was resolved. Still, honestly speaking, there’s nothing like a solemn ceremony to remind one of reality.

Before signing one particular form, I was asked by the officer to read out what was written in the form, in the presence of Ayah and my two uncles.

“In the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful. I, (my full name & IC number) hereby give the permission for my wali ( Ayah’s full name & IC number) to marry me off to (my fiancé’s full name & IC number) with the dowry of RM80.00 in cash”

A simple statement actually – but when proclaimed in a solemn ceremony made quite an impact on me… Can’t exactly explain how it actually felt as I uttered those words quietly in that small room but somewhere at the back of my head, a voice resonated: “This is it A.Z., you are REALLY into this now…”

Strange but true - after all the preparations that I have made – it wasn’t until that moment when I actually felt - ‘This is it…”